Tag: mum
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Managing my emotions
As I said in my previous post I used to be interested in managing my emotions a lot in the past. Not that I noticed it brought me any benefits. At the same time I learned already that denying having difficult emotions is going to make me feel worse. Have anyone heard about emotional intelligence…
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Guide on how to escape from yourself
I mentioned here before that since I started blogging, I sometimes see words in my head like if they were typed up. Those words seem to describe situation that I am in and appear when I’m under stress. It doesn’t happen very often, but it happened again today. Only that the word ‘yourself’ was not…
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I don’t know how I feel
This is apparently normal for us, autistics. I mean, not that I never know how I feel: when I’m upset, I’m usually perfectly aware of that. But now I’m really confused. Not only I don’t know how I feel, I also don’t know how I’m ‘supposed’ to feel. Perhaps my confusion is caused by years…
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I cried today
For just a few minutes. First time since I found out my mum died. It was really strange. Someone from my village post a photo of another lady from our village, a tiny bit younger than my mum, with a note that her funeral will be on Wednesday. My mum’s funeral is tomorrow, Tuesday and…
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I feel like an adult now
This is really strange, I realised it yesterday evening and woke up at 2am today, probably to think about it. Did it ever happen to you that you woke up early if you have an issue to think about? That happens to me sometimes. It feels like my brain decided that working out what is…
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My Sunday
I still feel reasonably calm, considering what is happening and I also managed to sleep OK last night, the same like the last couple of nights. It was six hours only, which is not a lot since I started using Sleep School app but considering what I am going through and the fact I didn’t…
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I have no sense of danger
What just happened now is so scary. I had this idea to reject my part of the inheritance so thst my brother gets it. Not that I want to do that really, and it’s certainly not what my mum wanted. But I can already imagine the fight between me and my brother if he already…
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Expectations vs reality
I was at work yesterday for 24h (which includes sleep in) and although I could technically post on the sleep in shift, I didn’t feel like it. It was a bit of a difficult day, considering what I’m going through but sometimes it really is much easier to focus on work. Yesterday in the morning…
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I can’t cope (seriously, how do I not enable my brother?)
So basically my brother doesn’t want to do anything regarding organising my mum’s funeral. I spoke with him again yesterday and he said he can barely walk but ‘will try to do something’. Today the neighbour called me to say that he wanted to speak with my brother but he is never in. Why is…
Autistic and me 