Tag: mum
-
‘Just say something!’
I was just asked if I want to be a guest on a podcast and I had to refuse. It was not an easy decision, if I have to be honest, as I’d love to share my truth as widely as possible, but I’m worried it may all backfire. I took a part in a…
-
I can’t tell anybody that I miss my mum
That’s how I feel now: I would like to call mum and tell her that I miss her after she died. Sorry, I really do not like the ‘passed away’ expression, it seems to me like this term suggests that she’s going to come back. I try to use it, but when I really miss…
-
Star wars (the first day after my ‘manifesting’ attempts)
I’m rushing to say that I feel quite ok today. The fear that I’ll spend the rest of my life in bed is mostly, although not entirely gone. It bothers me a little bit that visualisation is always associated with New Age, as this is certainly not what I am interested in and want to…
-
My emotional instability
A lot of people seem to think that autistics are robotic and have no emotions. I think this belief is really damaging to us and I am not totally sure what causes it? I guess, perhaps the fact that we don’t communicate our emotions? Still, you would think that before making such an assumption one…
-
The truth about my family?
It’s 3.30am and I woke up at 2. That means I managed an hour and a half without posting. I sometimes wonder if I post too much? I definitely post much more when I’m emotionally unstable. I wonder if this is something that I should hide? But what is the difference between hiding this and…
-
Five stages of grief
I started reading about grief online in hope to make everything seem more real. I obviously was aware of the five stages of grief concept, and it looks like I’m on depression at the moment. I don’t think I experienced much of a bargaining though, it really feels to me like I did what I…
-
I feel better – that’s really strange! (and then worse again)
Around 3 hours ago I realised I need to get myself out of that rabbit hole of mental health deterioration and guess what? It worked! I’m much better now. I did suspect that we, autistics, have more control over our mental health that people think. And I’m not saying meltdowns are not real but I…
-
I want to go home
I so much feel like I want to go to my family home now. It’s so strange that, even though my family was definitely troubled, I still found visits there relaxing. Obviously, except the last one, where I had to go to a hostel after a few days because I couldn’t look at my brother…
-
Vampiring on the blog
So yes, that is basically what I’m doing here: venting is not a correct expression – I’m vampiring on my readers. Only, of course, it is very easy for them to move on. They don’t even need body language or hints to do that! Since my mum died I post several times a day, and…
-
‘I find your lack of cheer disturbing’
I’ve heard it’s Valentines day today? And I’m single. Not that I was ever bothered too much when I was in a relationship. Me and John spoke twice last week: the first time we were talking about possibly getting back together but we couldn’t agree on how that would look like. Only then I had…
Autistic and me 