Tag: mum
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It’s hard to imagine, I know
It is said that people with Asperger’s can’t imagine how others are feeling and what to say to make them feel better. But then, it was my neurotypical colleague who used to say that the problems that I have with my mum are not real problems, because her mum had Alzheimer’s and taking care of…
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Waiting for miracle
I spent another couple of hours in bed just wishing for things to be different. And I don’t even mean perfect, I am fully aware that my family is far from normal and perfect is too much to aim for. I just want them to be a bit better than they are now. First of…
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Difficult feelings
I woke up early in the morning with the thought that if my mum ends up in the care home permanently, I’ll never forgive my brother. Not that our relationship is good now, so it will probably not change anything and he won’t even notice. My mum could of course live in a small, rented…
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Honesty
I do admit, I’m angry with my mum. I told her multiple times not to leave the UK without me, but she got totally obsessed with coming back to Smardzewice, so shortly after quarantine was lifted for travellers who are vaccinated I booked her the flight ticket and arranged for transport to the airport. I…
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Walk to the lake
I had a walk to the lake and got an ice cream there. It was rather chilly when I was leaving the house and then suddenly got quite hot. That’s what we used to do with mum when I was at home for the weekend and the weather was nice: having a walk to the…
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Hindsight
I sometimes think I didn’t deal with my mum very well when she was staying with me. Possibly I should have asked the doctor for some antidepressants for her, but I didn’t really know how to direct the attention to her mental health. She has some issues with medication, almost everything seems to make her…
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Feeling tired
I suddenly feel like I need a good rest and to relax. It’s good that I stopped pacing and laid down. I’m thinking how my brother is never abusive towards me, but he was to my mum. But I don’t tell him ‘you have to stop drinking, sort yourself out, why you’re not like other…
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On the way back from Łódź
So I saw The Friend today. It did help me a bit, both talking to her but also being away. I still feel overwhelmed that I have to make all the decisions myself. I almost feel that I’d prefer if my mum didn’t have any money left. We’d cope somehow, like we used to before…
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Spoke with my brother
He’s not sure if he wants my share of the house. He’ll tell me tomorrow. He’s drunk and claims he’s ‘one level above everyone else’, whatever that could mean. He said again that mum has to be back home, even if she’s in the wheelchair and I decide to come back to the UK. He’ll…
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No more visits at mum’s
When I was doing the online training, connection went off after the first break so I decided I’m going to see mum. I went there only to find out that visits in all care homes and hospitals in Poland has been suspended. I was allowed to see her very briefly, left her the glasses and…
Autistic and me 