Tag: mental health
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So why people don’t talk about mental health problems?
This is kind of continuation of my previous post, when I described some experiences from my first psychotic episode and I noticed that, although we do seem to talk more openly about mental health that people used to several years ago, what it in fact means is, we talk about depression and anxiety and not […]
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Bad mental health
What I wanted to talk about here is, how taboo mental health still is. It seems like we, as a society, got much more open about it, and yet ‘mental health problems’ often mean depression or anxiety, nothing more serious than that. Sometimes bipolar may get a bit of publicity but not schizophrenia or psychosis. […]
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My problems are not ‘real’ problems
That’s how I often feel when I speak with people openly about what I’m going through. I now think it could be because I don’t communicate my emotions with my face expression and possibly don’t look authentic when I talk about some of my deepest problems. I must say I don’t really have that issue […]
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Being myself
It’s Sunday morning now and it seems to be rather cold. I will not be visiting mum today as there are no buses to where she’s staying, which is a village called Studzianki. Mind you, the care home is not actually in the village but in a field over one kilometer away from it. I […]
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Current mood (bipolar?)
So, after my second psychotic episode I was told I’m bipolar. I don’t fully agree with this and it makes me sad that I can’t just be ‘myself’: a person with Asperger’s who is so bad at managing emotions that she ended up so upset and unable to calm down and sleep that it caused […]
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Self harm (I used to do that)
So… this is not something that I normally talk about. It was always taboo, but my left arm is covered in scars. It’s normally easy to cover it as I am oversensitive to cold but on a really hot day wearing long sleeves becomes a problem even for me. Yes, I used to self harm […]
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My suicide attempt
I hope this won’t be triggering for anybody so first of all, let me clarify that I didn’t really want to die. And yet, I took 18 lorazepams at once. I actually thought I took 19 but the 19th was still in the box, although the seal was broken. The box contained 20 and I […]
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I was diagnosed with schizophrenia
OK, so that happened in Poland a few years ago. I love Poland but some other the standards in psychiatric care… I really hope the same would not happened where I live now. So basically, after I travelled to Poland from the UK, on my first day of hallucinating, I did see psychiatrist there. Initially […]
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Feeling guilty
Hostel is pretty busy the last 3 days. I think every room is taken now, but still it’s a small place in general so it’s not like there’s loads of people here. I’ve heard a lady speaking on the phone in the hallway that she needs to have a rest and that’s why she’s here. […]
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The things I accomplished today
Trigger warning: contains description of some difficult events and mentions serious suicidal thoughts and one suicidal action. I got my mum’s mobile fixed, I exchanged the slippers I bought for her yesterday (they were too narrow) and I had lunch. That’s not much, I suppose, is it? But I feel so low. I only left […]
Autistic and me 