Tag: meaning of life
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Mild depression
I think I developed some form of mild depression. I just did a test online and received 13 points out of 27, so nearly half. When I first got the idea that I may be autistic that was what puzzled me the most: my mood. I was sure that autistic people don’t have any mood…
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Feeling low at 4am
I woke up early again, after approximately five and a half hours of sleep. It is still enough for me to not get psychosis (please, remember, I’d need more than one sleepless night to develop an episode). I’m wondering if the reason for waking up so early can be the fact that the room is…
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Another day…
Trigger warning: mentions self harm but also talks about nice weather and speaking up. It was another warm and sunny day so I made an effort to spend couple of hours outdoors. It still surprises me how the town changed over the years, since I was in secondary school. We didn’t have McDonald’s at the…
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To my prospective employers
I was reading today about how to find a job after one was sacked. It’s not an easy task I suppose. I do hope Job Centre can help me with that as I really lost loads of confidence. I’d really like to go for some kind of job trial where I could see how a…
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I wish life had more meaning
This is fairly common complaint for me: the fact that life seems like just set of duties that I have to do every day. Then I can relax, rest, have a nice dinner and such, but in general neither the duties, nor the time off has any deeper meaning for me. I wonder how neurotypical…
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It’s not my job to bring about change
When I first started my website, I mean the first one, that is going to be shut soon as it only allows 99 posts per blog, I was really concerned about how my actions affect decision makers. Let’s be honest, being autistic is not easy: when I wasn’t aware of my condition it felt like…
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The purpose of life
I often wonder what is the purpose of life. Is it just to earn enough money for bills? I don’t want it to be like that, I crave something more, some kind of fulfilment, but I don’t know what it could be. I suppose I’d like to have an impact on the world, but in…
Autistic and me 