Tag: infinite games
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Focusing on obstacles
This is what I realised when I was sorting issues in Poland: when I have to do something I focus on obstacles much more than on where I want to be. Even when the issue is small, in my mind it becomes a massive problem. That was probably why I didn’t try to apply for…
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Struggling
Trigger warning: this post mentions suicidal thoughts. I read online that talking about suicidal thoughts doesn’t make people any more likely to act on them but I know some readers prefer trigger warning, and that’s absolutely fine. So I was really struggling mentally and emotionally, walking up early in the morning and feeling like I’m…
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I forgot to keep playing
Yesterday I was fairly busy during the day so I didn’t go to see mum. I don’t know if I explained that her new care home is a few kilometres away from town, in the middle of nowhere? I could have probably gone towards the afternoon but I remember how tired and quiet she was…
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Worried again
I woke up terribly worried again, about everything, my mum, her care home, her pressure sores (I need to get dressings but don’t know which size to get), her medical history (I need to deliver it to her care home but don’t know where to get it from, whether it will all be at her…
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Love mum
I arranged the transport for monday 11am and I can go with mum. I can’t wait to see her, I hope she will be happy in her new place. I keep thinking how vulnerable she is now and how much I want to protect her. Nothing else matters now. Forget the money, we’ll all cope…
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Private care home
The private care home looked a bit like a hotel, slightly over the top and much better than any care home I’ve ever seen in the UK (and I’ve seen a few). I was slightly reluctant after seeing that and also it’s in the middle of nowhere, but then I guess that’s how they all…
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Finite games and suicidal thoughts
I managed to make a mental leap finally, the same that I did when I realised that my interview is going to be published in two weeks, and I even managed to get some more sleep. It’s 7.48am now. But when I woke up I realised that it was just my brain playing the finite…
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99 posts only
It’s such a shame, I really like this website builder, but why it allows 99 posts only? Even if I posts once every 3-4 days, I’d run out within a year. (This is regarding my previous website, before I moved to wordpress). It took me ages to choose this website builder, as it turned out…
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5.41am thinking long term
I mentioned infinite games on my blog a few times and although I really like the concept in general I feel like it’s difficult for me to apply it consistently to how I manage life. I must say here, since discovering infinite games, I didn’t do any info dumping, as I always remember some of…
Autistic and me 