Tag: brother
-
Am I a bad daughter?
I have the impression that, according to society expectations, or at least how it looks in Poland, loving an elderly parent means protecting them from reality but what I was doing instead was trying to get my mum to face it. So for example I should have regularly sent money to my brother and paid his…
-
Immaturity
I did hear that people with Asperger’s are immature and I wonder sometimes what that actually means. If I didn’t have Asperger’s, would I deal any better with this situation? Would I not be fed up? Would I not believe that money should be spent on home improvement rather than putting elderly relatives into care…
-
Money for food
My brother asked me if I can give him some money for food for the house. It was a bit strange as it was me who was buying food so far, so it made me think,what he would eat if I wasn’t in (although I presume he ate something outside of the house too during…
-
I think I’m depressed
I didn’t even properly leave the bed. Only went to the kitchen for breakfast and lunch. I’m in some kind of half asleep state and I have no hope. But I don’t even know what the hope could be for. There’s nothing waiting for me in this life, I don’t think so. I don’t even…
-
Waiting for miracle
I spent another couple of hours in bed just wishing for things to be different. And I don’t even mean perfect, I am fully aware that my family is far from normal and perfect is too much to aim for. I just want them to be a bit better than they are now. First of…
-
Ridiculous
I’m thinking, how ridiculous this situation is. Normally when an elderly relative has money (although I don’t know how much is left after the fraud), everyone wants to help them. In my mum’s situation my brother is totally ignoring her. He could have used the situation when she’s in the care home to go and…
-
Smoked mackerel
I went to the shop to get some food for the weekend and saw some smoked mackerel. I wanted to buy one as those from Polish shop in Swindon are not excellent, but then I thought, the fridge is disconnected, we’re not going to eat it quickly enough. It’s just over a week since I…
-
Feeling tired
I suddenly feel like I need a good rest and to relax. It’s good that I stopped pacing and laid down. I’m thinking how my brother is never abusive towards me, but he was to my mum. But I don’t tell him ‘you have to stop drinking, sort yourself out, why you’re not like other…
-
On the way back from Łódź
So I saw The Friend today. It did help me a bit, both talking to her but also being away. I still feel overwhelmed that I have to make all the decisions myself. I almost feel that I’d prefer if my mum didn’t have any money left. We’d cope somehow, like we used to before…
-
I want magic
That’s what one of Redecor challenges is called. I read it and thought I want magic too. But magic is not going to happen. My brother now says he doesn’t want my share of the house, even though it would come with a small piece of land that he could sell. He probably decided it’s…
Autistic and me 