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Heavy rain
It’s raining heavily today again so no point going to town. The clothes I was wearing yesterday are still wet. Tumble dryers are completely unknown here, unless something changed just recently. I stopped playing Redecor when I’m here. At first I had some issues with internet connection – I use data roaming on my mobile…
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More sleep
I managed to get another 3h of sleep but woke up with a headache and the same strange pressure around the heart that I used to get every morning for several months after I went off pregabalin. It was never confirmed by doctors this was from pregabalin withdrawal, more over they didn’t seem to know…
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Woke up early
I went to sleep just after 22.30 and woke up before 2am. That’s not a lot of sleep, but should be ok in terms of my mental health (my two psychotic episodes were inducted by stress and insomnia.) Strange that I don’t feel tired at all. It would still be nice to sleep now. It’s…
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Never say that to psychiatric patient with Asperger’s
When I was in psychiatric hospital after my second psychotic episode I asked the staff what is going to happen with me if I don’t get better and he said ‘Just take your medication’. For me that sounded like if he was telling me to take an overdose. Of course I knew that’s not what…
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My mum
I feel sad again, being at home without my mum. I wish I could spend more time with her, do stuff like we used to. Maybe make pierogi. She was quite a good cook, not appreciated by anyone in the house really. I believe she deserves better life that she had and I can’t do…
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Knitted socks
I’m absolutely freezing after getting wet earlier but I found some knitted socks in the house, they’re not woolen but they’re quite thick. I have issues with cold, it can apparently be autism related. It takes ages for me to get warm after being in a cold. Sometimes I may lay next to a heater…
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My brother and his alcohol issues
I often wonder, how come someone who has no relationship, almost no friends and can’t keep a job, can be such a skillful manipulator as my brother. I feel bad now about everything that I have. I feel like I should remember about him, about the fact that he has no food and can’t pay…
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My family
I was cleaning the house yesterday thinking ‘this is my family now, it’s not going to get any better than that.’ My brother has some serious issues with self neglect so it wasn’t an easy task. I found my mum’s glasses, the two pairs that I organised for her when she was staying with me…
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The neurotypical disorder
I’m not one who claims autism is not a disability. Oh, by all means, it is. It was the inability to predict other people behaviour that put me into all those troubles with The Company and the employment tribunal case, where I ended up developing psychotic episode. That wasn’t what I wanted, believe me. You…
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I’m in Poland
I’m in my home country Poland, in beautiful village Smardzewice, where I was brought up. I have some serious issues to sort out, including fraud that my mum was a victim. It’s not fun, my brother has his own issues (with alcohol and serious self neglect) and my mum is in a care home as…
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Autistic and me 