Autistic and me

Being myself

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  • Feeling hopeless

    What if I don’t go back, my benefits will get stop and then my mum runs out of money for her care home. But even if I want to, I can’t go back on time, fast trains to Kraków don’t operate for a couple of days. I won’t manage, if I have to travel on…

    Magda Z.

    September 7, 2021
    Uncategorized
    mum
  • Deadline

    Now I want to be back on Thursday, no matter what. At least this would be like a deadline and I think I may need it. I’m not sure if the new care home allows visists. I forgot to ask. If it does, I could stay a bit longer, I really need some time one…

    Magda Z.

    September 7, 2021
    Uncategorized
    coping
  • Universal credit

    So I had my UC appointment and found out that if I’m out of the country for over 28 days my claim will be stopped. It doesn’t seem very fair, if I went to sort out the same situation to another town in the UK my benefits wouldn’t be stopped, so I’m not treated equally…

    Magda Z.

    September 7, 2021
    Uncategorized
    coping, unemployment
  • Two nurses

    I spoke with two nurses from mum’s care home and they both told me I don’t necessarily need to move mum, she’ll have a good care where she is and her money can be spent later on something. But I feel bad about keeping it. It’s not mine. I can’t spend it knowing my mum…

    Magda Z.

    September 7, 2021
    Uncategorized
    fraud, mum
  • 11.30am – can’t go this way

    So I went to Piotrków Trybunalski to check my mum’s bank account as power of attorney has already been registered. So the good thing is no more money has been stolen, mum has enough for 4 years of a private care home (if I add her pension) but POA doesn’t allow me to use online…

    Magda Z.

    September 7, 2021
    Uncategorized
    coping, fraud, Poland
  • 5.41am thinking long term

    I mentioned infinite games on my blog a few times and although I really like the concept in general I feel like it’s difficult for me to apply it consistently to how I manage life. I must say here, since discovering infinite games, I didn’t do any info dumping, as I always remember some of…

    Magda Z.

    September 7, 2021
    Uncategorized
    infinite games
  • 5.10am

    After writing the last post I stayed in bed and explored my feelings. I noticed again that writing really helps me, it’s an opportunity to understand myself better. I realised that the worst that could happen now would be if I’m unable to protect my mum. After that I managed to fall asleep again but…

    Magda Z.

    September 7, 2021
    Uncategorized
  • 3.06am feeling vulnerable again

    5h of sleep. Not quite enough but no risk of psychosis. Mind you, I’d have to have my sleep severely restricted for more than one night to develop an episode. The last time it was like 1-2h of sleep for around a week before it happened. I’m worried about mum’s money again. How come bank…

    Magda Z.

    September 7, 2021
    Uncategorized
    fraud, Poland, psychosis
  • I’m rather tired at 9.30pm

    That’s one of the photos I took yesterday. It’s beautiful, isn’t it? I so much love colours. Will be going to sleep soon. Goodnight then, audience. Speak to you tomorrow.

    Magda Z.

    September 6, 2021
    Uncategorized
    Poland
  • 19.43 – I’m not a masochist

    I did state a few posts ago that doing tax return is compulsory in Poland. It turned out it’s a bit more sophisticated than that. Mum’s tax return was done by ZUS, the government pension and insurance agency. However, if she did it herself (or, in her case, with a help of a trusted friend),…

    Magda Z.

    September 6, 2021
    Uncategorized
    challenging behaviour, naive
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