Autistic and me

Being myself

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  • Zopiclone

    I took zopiclone at 11 and woke up at 4am feeling anxious. It is enormous responsibility to move mum to a place that we have to pay for if I know that funds are limited. Something happened yesterday in relation to her current care home, that made me realise that the nurses are not necessarily […]

    Magda Z.

    September 9, 2021
    Uncategorized
    brother, mum
  • Private care home

    The private care home looked a bit like a hotel, slightly over the top and much better than any care home I’ve ever seen in the UK (and I’ve seen a few). I was slightly reluctant after seeing that and also it’s in the middle of nowhere, but then I guess that’s how they all […]

    Magda Z.

    September 8, 2021
    Uncategorized
    infinite games, mum
  • Finite games and suicidal thoughts

    I managed to make a mental leap finally, the same that I did when I realised that my interview is going to be published in two weeks, and I even managed to get some more sleep. It’s 7.48am now. But when I woke up I realised that it was just my brain playing the finite […]

    Magda Z.

    September 8, 2021
    Uncategorized
    infinite games
  • 99 posts only

    It’s such a shame, I really like this website builder, but why it allows 99 posts only? Even if I posts once every 3-4 days, I’d run out within a year. (This is regarding my previous website, before I moved to wordpress). It took me ages to choose this website builder, as it turned out […]

    Magda Z.

    September 8, 2021
    Uncategorized
    infinite games
  • Nightime anxiety

    I woke up feeling that I had it all sorted when then suddenly realised my mum was victim of fraud and her bank completely ignored her so far. Even the last letter, when they said they would refund what she had confirmation for didn’t include any information that there is ongoing police investigation. I feel […]

    Magda Z.

    September 8, 2021
    Uncategorized
    fraud, mum
  • Feeling hopeless

    What if I don’t go back, my benefits will get stop and then my mum runs out of money for her care home. But even if I want to, I can’t go back on time, fast trains to Kraków don’t operate for a couple of days. I won’t manage, if I have to travel on […]

    Magda Z.

    September 7, 2021
    Uncategorized
    mum
  • Deadline

    Now I want to be back on Thursday, no matter what. At least this would be like a deadline and I think I may need it. I’m not sure if the new care home allows visists. I forgot to ask. If it does, I could stay a bit longer, I really need some time one […]

    Magda Z.

    September 7, 2021
    Uncategorized
    coping
  • Universal credit

    So I had my UC appointment and found out that if I’m out of the country for over 28 days my claim will be stopped. It doesn’t seem very fair, if I went to sort out the same situation to another town in the UK my benefits wouldn’t be stopped, so I’m not treated equally […]

    Magda Z.

    September 7, 2021
    Uncategorized
    coping, unemployment
  • Two nurses

    I spoke with two nurses from mum’s care home and they both told me I don’t necessarily need to move mum, she’ll have a good care where she is and her money can be spent later on something. But I feel bad about keeping it. It’s not mine. I can’t spend it knowing my mum […]

    Magda Z.

    September 7, 2021
    Uncategorized
    fraud, mum
  • 11.30am – can’t go this way

    So I went to Piotrków Trybunalski to check my mum’s bank account as power of attorney has already been registered. So the good thing is no more money has been stolen, mum has enough for 4 years of a private care home (if I add her pension) but POA doesn’t allow me to use online […]

    Magda Z.

    September 7, 2021
    Uncategorized
    coping, fraud, Poland
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