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I was diagnosed with schizophrenia
OK, so that happened in Poland a few years ago. I love Poland but some other the standards in psychiatric care… I really hope the same would not happened where I live now. So basically, after I travelled to Poland from the UK, on my first day of hallucinating, I did see psychiatrist there. Initially…
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Diagnosis is just a label
I think people focus on diagnosis too much. We are all different, the same like neurotypical people. Some of us can be quite social and like being with people in situations that are well structured – like a training at work. Some of us like drawing attention to ourselves and tell jokes. I am personally…
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Early morning, Saturday
Mum asked me to get her mobile fixed for her and I did but I’m not sure now it was a good idea. My brother will be calling her and demanding money and getting things organised. But then, what I was supposed to say? She’s an adult, adults have mobiles. A couple of days ago…
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Possibly I didn’t misinterpret…
The problem with discovering I am autistic is that I doubt my own judgement. I don’t know what to do about it. I suppose at times I misinterpret things, but not all the time, I don’t think. I just heard the same lady who said she came here to have a rest. She was shouting…
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Feeling guilty
Hostel is pretty busy the last 3 days. I think every room is taken now, but still it’s a small place in general so it’s not like there’s loads of people here. I’ve heard a lady speaking on the phone in the hallway that she needs to have a rest and that’s why she’s here.…
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Maybe I’m too harsh for myself?
Possibly. I’ve been through a lot lately and it has only been 3 nights since I stopped waking up with that terrible anxiety in the middle of the night. I guess I should be allowed a bit of a downtime. I’ll deliver mum’s suitcase tomorrow and write the letter regarding the fraud on Monday. I…
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I forgot to keep playing
Yesterday I was fairly busy during the day so I didn’t go to see mum. I don’t know if I explained that her new care home is a few kilometres away from town, in the middle of nowhere? I could have probably gone towards the afternoon but I remember how tired and quiet she was…
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Is my mum hinting me? Detailed explanation
First of all I do apologise for my messy drawing. I suppose not using pen and paper every day has its impact on me. In here I wanted to explain in detail how I understand my mum’s comment ‘I want to live in Poland, unless that’s not possible then I go back to yours’. When…
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The things I accomplished today
Trigger warning: contains description of some difficult events and mentions serious suicidal thoughts and one suicidal action. I got my mum’s mobile fixed, I exchanged the slippers I bought for her yesterday (they were too narrow) and I had lunch. That’s not much, I suppose, is it? But I feel so low. I only left…
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Universal credit
It’s been 28 days today since I left the UK and my universal credit payments has been stopped. It feels sad and unfair as, if I had to leave to another town in the UK to do the same that I do here I would be ok. I don’t think I’m even sad for the…
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Autistic and me 