-
Playing games
What I wanted to talk about here was how I was dealing with anxiety recently: by playing various online games: my favourite was water puzzle, but I also found another version of block puzzles which is a bit easier to play, although I’m still pretty rubbish at it. But what also came to my mind…
-
Perhaps, perhaps…
I visited mum today, at 11am, as usual, as it’s easy to arrange and remember that I need to take a bus which is exactly at 10.30. She didn’t seem very alert and at some point insisted on me taking her laundry home because ‘no one will do it here’, she also told me she…
-
The Innocent Guys
I did mention in my previous post that since I started blogging about my emotions I started seeing flashback of text in my head occasionally and it’s something that relates to my life. ‘The Innocent Guys’ is what I saw just a few minutes ago. I suppose it could be a good name for vegan…
-
Struggling
Trigger warning: this post mentions suicidal thoughts. I read online that talking about suicidal thoughts doesn’t make people any more likely to act on them but I know some readers prefer trigger warning, and that’s absolutely fine. So I was really struggling mentally and emotionally, walking up early in the morning and feeling like I’m…
-
Mum and her gut feelings
Mum told me today that she has a gut feeling that everything will be well. She wasn’t sure at all what that could mean exactly and when that could happen, just that it will. Sometimes I think her entire understanding of reality is based on gut feelings as she just doesn’t understand facts. I remember…
-
Frustration
I downloaded a new game yesterday, one where you have to arrange various shape blocks in a certain way, and when you do, they disappear and you get points. I thought it would be a good way to relax and I spent ages playing yesterday evening and today in the morning, straight after I woke…
-
Insomnia
This is the second night with only 4h of sleep. I don’t know why I wake up early, I do not feel severely stressed. I guess I’ll be ok for now but if it lasts any longer I may need to start worrying. And by worrying I don’t mean literally sitting down and worrying about…
-
What if… I’m not the lucky one?
I read a blog post today, about a young lady diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. It was on Rethink.org website. I won’t be giving a link here, I’m a bit paranoid that the page may be removed on a later date and my link will not work, so I’d rather cope without one. Schizoaffective disorder is…
-
Coping with negative emotions
So yesterday I told myself that today I’ll write a letter to my mum’s bank. And today I woke up after only 4h of sleep. I didn’t feel anxious, I felt depressed, like if nothing made sense any more. It’s a substantial amount of money that has been stolen. Not high enough to buy even…