Category: Uncategorized
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I’m not registered with the council any more
In Poland everyone has to be registered somewhere, which is very often not where one lives. It’s not really that important for every day but if we want to take part in election or do tax return (which is compulsory) it needs to be in the area where one is registered. I was registered in…
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I want magic
That’s what one of Redecor challenges is called. I read it and thought I want magic too. But magic is not going to happen. My brother now says he doesn’t want my share of the house, even though it would come with a small piece of land that he could sell. He probably decided it’s…
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My dad
When I was very little, I remember I had much better relationship with my dad than with mum. Then obviously that all fell apart due to his mental health breakdown. When I was a teeanager and started reading books and articles about complex relationship dynamic I started believing it was my mum who caused my…
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One level above everyone else
Till last year, after my mum moved in with me and I started reading about it, I didn’t really know how alcoholism looks like. My brother very often doesn’t even look drunk, or at least I wouldn’t notice if I didn’t speak with him for a bit longer. I didn’t know that neglecting every single…
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The truth about my brother
I suppose I was always being protected from the truth about my brother, in a way. Yes, mum would tell me what he did but when it came to actually dealing with him I’d make sure I’m not involved. My mum had to do it. It didn’t work as he just screamed at her. When…
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Is that ok?
I’m wondering now if it’s actually ok to make decisions for somebody else? My mum won’t approve going to a private care home, she won’t approve any care home really. She wants to stay in Smardzewice and use her age and disability to control my brother’s drinking. And if it at least worked! Is it…
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I want proper dinner
I just started feeling hungry. I’m not really eating much now, there’s no food in the house, my brother disconnected the fridge a while ago to save electricity. I decided I won’t be using it too because he’d start expecting I don’t know what in that fridge, but it means I’m playing the same game…
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In bed
I miss Redecor a bit but don’t feel like it’s the right time now to focus on the game. I finally start feeling that I’m on the right track, even though I don’t know where I’m going exactly. I don’t know if I need to go to town tomorrow or not. I’ll decide in the…
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Pacing
I somehow started feeling a relief. Still don’t know what to do next, or at least not exactly but I think being unable to see mum is allowing me to think more clearly. She’d definitely say no to a private care home, she’ll probably even say no to the one that she’s in now and…
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Spoke with my brother
He’s not sure if he wants my share of the house. He’ll tell me tomorrow. He’s drunk and claims he’s ‘one level above everyone else’, whatever that could mean. He said again that mum has to be back home, even if she’s in the wheelchair and I decide to come back to the UK. He’ll…
Autistic and me 