Category: Uncategorized
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I’m getting bitter, I suppose
This is, I think, how my mum’s death affects me (and I’m sorry, I don’t like ‘passed away’ expression, it doesn’t sound definite enough for me, like if the person may still come back). I don’t miss her. I guess I got used to the fact that I’d never speak to her again, we’d never […]
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Can blogging be solution to my every problem (I’m not a loser from Eastern Europe)
Well, I am from Eastern Europe, definitely, but I’m not a loser, does that make sense? And yet, some people treat me like one. Don’t get me wrong, most British people are lovely, but not all. Some ask strange questions like for example ‘How come you have two bedroom flat if you’re single?’ They’re not […]
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If I ever end up in a care home (moan about social care)
Ok, so yesterday I did my first shift in a care environment since I got suspended in April last year. The shift was ok, although obviously I can’t say any more than that as it’s confidential. I’m on a sleep in now but can’t sleep as mattress is absolutely horrible (I don’t think that is […]
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The most bizarre dating story ever
I wonder whether anyone can beat me at that. So, as I said earlier, after I left my first partner in my early 30s, I wanted to meet emotionally unavailable man for a romance. I didn’t know at the time that they don’t really exist; there seems to be loads of them everywhere, men who […]
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I Googled my diagnostician
Ok, so previous post was about the experience that I call monitoring. Is it possible to be on one? What about privacy issues? I’m not sure I fully like the idea of that. I mean, if it’s true, it certainly helped me to get home safely in 2017, otherwise I could end up arrested somewhere […]
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‘Everyone does that’
I was writing this post when I received the phone call from my mum’s care home. I then left it but then I thought, I may as well finish it and grieve afterwards. This one will be about the fact that creating society where having sex early is considered normal is not really that good. […]
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I feel so alone now
So that’s what happened: I have no family now. My brother is not a family, he can’t offer me any support – even now, in this difficult situation he says to call him tomorrow. I wonder if he comes for a funeral, although he apparently went to dad’s. Or at least that’s what mum said. […]
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I can’t grieve
Possibly you find it strange that I post just after my mum died. But I’m not doing that for attention – I don’t get much of that from the blog. The purpose of the blog is to record how I feel and think but also to unload my emotions. Before I started blogging I used […]
Autistic and me 