I’m sure I already mentioned that a few times, but you may not remember or possibly you didn’t read those posts: I love talking to John when I have a problem. Even when he is not familiar with the area I have problems with he will always says something that is like that missing puzzle that makes everything fall into place.

I wonder how that fits into us, autistics, not being great communicators.

Two days ago, when I asked him if I should try to look for traditional publisher or self publish on Amazon he told me I need to do my research but also I need to be ‘realistic’. And he was right: I think I prefer magical realism to actual realistic realism; well…

And the thing is, even if I find traditional publisher and everything goes moreless well, it will still be very unlikely that my book becomes a bestseller. And if it won’t, I’d much prefer for it to be self published on Amazon, even if I have to make it free for one day a month so that people actually download it.

This is actually a good example of ‘all or nothing thinking’ that feels so natural to me.

But the good thing about self publishing on Amazon is that as soon as it’s done I will feel like my energy has been released and I’ll be able to start working on another book.

I’m so glad I picked up blogging; it gave me new lease of life. Without it I’d never have the courage to write in English, while writing in Polish somehow doesn’t make sense while I live in the UK.

Yesterday John also advised me on my ‘vagina book cover’ and reminded I shouldn’t be getting upset every time when people don’t understand me. Anyway, I changed it. It’s a white square in a black rectangle now.

Happy? 😛