Me on olanzapine

I think I have been on it for long enough to write a little sum up. I am only on 5mg, which is considered a small dose. When I was on it the first time a few years ago it was 10mg.

Even on 5mg I managed to sleep 10 hours on a couple of nights and I still had a nap during the day a few times. This may be not a bad thing, I suppose, but of course when I’m back at work I’d need to use an alarm on my mobile to wake up.

Otherwise I don’t seem to have any side effects, at least for now. I mean I had two episodes of overeating but I sometimes do that anyway, so it wasn’t probably due to meds.

Oh, I’m sorry, it does feel to me like being on olanzapine prevents my brain from making all those spontaneous connections between ideas, therefore I may blog a bit less, which may be not a bad thing.

It’s Thursday today and on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday I felt quite depressed. I had to agree with doctors that I probably have bipolar or at least cyclothymia. It’s quite funny, you know, before I found out I’m autistic, I was convinced I have cyclothymia (which is milder form of bipolar) but I couldn’t get a diagnosis. After I got autism diagnosis it made more sense to me that everything that is in my head is connected to autism. And yet the doctors want to insist on me having bipolar diagnosis. That is quite annoying at times and makes me feel like I’m not in control of my mental health.

Anyway, yesterday evening I had this idea that maybe if I sleep on the sofa instead my spare bedroom, my depression will lift. Spare bedroom was meant to be used by me when I want to avoid the world and the living room when I want to face it, so I thought maybe this little trick will help. And guess what, I woke up without feeling depressed.

It does make me feel now like my 3 day depression wasn’t even real. But it certainly felt real.

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