I remember, I said a few days ago that I’m not grieving any more but I do miss her. She would be my best cheerleader, now when I’m studying at uni. I imagine that I call her and what she would say. She’d most likely would be like ‘that’s very good, that’s very good’.

I also miss my family home. I can’t go there like I used to and that’s why my flat seems so suffocating at times. I so much wish things were a bit different. A lot different actually.

On a different note, olanzapine seems to be getting rid of all the excess thoughts from my brain, that’s why my posts are so much shorter now. Which may not be a bad thing, possibly? It would be difficult to be focused on both uni course and also creating content for my blog.

Mind you, I wrote my assignment… somehow. After John told me off yesterday for not thinking flexibly enough I somehow made myself to start and after I started it turned out it wasn’t really that difficult to write according to expectations.

I still have almost 3 weeks to submit it so will slowly edit it and see if I may want to add a word or two but I do hope it is good enough to pass as it is.

So yes, I’d like to tell that to my mum, and I can’t. I feel so lonely because of that.