It is said that autistic people, females especially, copy other people behaviour because they want to fit in, have no confidence, are worried about rejection… which may all be true, but since I started doing my digital art, I realised I copy style of art that I recently saw and felt fascinated by; or sometimes just shapes I saw recently. Once, before Christmas last year I created ‘Christmas reindeer’ out of my Redecor design. Don’t ask me how, because I do not know, and certainly wasn’t planning it; also it was just around two weeks after I started using Picsart so I didn’t even know very well how it works.

I recently found another artist on Instagram that I feel fascinated by. Her name is Jen Du. Isn’t that beautiful?

It certainly is, but much different than what I’d like to achieve, which looks a bit like that:

The above is of course my own art, from just a few weeks ago. But after looking for a bit on on Jen Du’s art I created that:

And I do not like it. It’s not me at all; I wasn’t intending it, I didn’t want to copy, I just wanted to be creative. But I certainly copied, unintentionally (and not very successfully of course), even against my will!

How can I stop that thing then? I’d like to be myself, you know? Is that another part of autism that gets misinterpreted by scientists?

Please help me. I’m now scared to not only looking at other people art but to interact with my surroundings at all!