I need to pass out for 3 days (I’m a student)

I advertised yesterday that I’m starting uni, Msc in Dementia on University of Hull. Although everything seems to be going in the right direction now, things weren’t ready to advertise yesterday. I didn’t read some part of an email properly, instead I assumed what was in it (how typical of me) and that led to A, B and C. Finally, however, we managed to sort all of that out with their friendly candidate consultant who, BTW, reminded me of where I was born, just because of her surname, Zuber. How cute was that, wasn’t it?

Do you know there is Rezerwat Żubrów in Smardzewice?

Now I’m asked to complete enrolment which may take up to three days. Thanks to my ability to see hidden meanings everywhere, it seems to me I need to pass out for 3 days. That’s what students do under pressure, don’t they?

It was so many emotions, you know? And loads of thinking. But only a bit of that time was spent on thinking if I’m doing the right thing; mostly it was about what I want out of the course for myself. So I now know what I want to do for my masters thesis and also what to research for my PhD 😛 obviously things may change and already it’s not what I wanted to do a week ago but the new subject is better. Will discuss later, people.

I know it may all look like crazy for you but this is how I make decisions. And it’s not sudden, by any means. I work in care for around 14 years. I saw a lot, sometimes not very good things. So when I came across something totally different I decided to jump on it. And the more I was thinking about it, the more I was seeing how much I want to do that.

Dementia patients are being let down by the care system. We make decisions for them, without considering whether someone is an extrovert or introvert for example. An extrovert may be happy spending 80 hours a week in a living room full of people (like 40 of them); introvert – not necessarily. Possibly, as care profession mainly attracts friendly and sociable people, they think what they would like is good for everyone and they are being caring. But where’s the voice of the person with dementia?

Also I was reassured by my psychiatric nurse today zopiclone is not really that addictive, so hopefully I’ll manage to improve my sleep soon but can continue to take it for now.

It’s scary what psychosis does to the brain, you know?!

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