I don’t know what happened to me

Or actually, I do know… basically, when I realised I’m autistic, a lot of things suddenly made sense to me. Especially the frequent misunderstandings with people. I then thought, well, it has to be like that, there’s no help here. I’m autistic, therefore I’m impossible to communicate with. There’s no way out of it. I just need to mitigate the risk.

And then I met my diagnostician. And I understood everything that she was saying immediately, even though she wasn’t direct.

I remember how she said ‘I’ll be filling in your employment support plan now and in order to do that I need to know what problems you are having at work.’ She then said that when the plan is ready, I’d give it to my employer.

First thing she did there was, she twisted the social context (from her helping me into me helping her, and that made it much easier to open up; there is something in autistic people that makes us reluctant to accept help, yet we’re willing to help others). Also she hinted that there’s nothing that she can really do to solve my problems, she was just filling paperwork, that’s it.

That’s just an example, there was more of it, although I don’t remember everything. It was 2016. Now we have 2022. Where are those methods being used, tell me? I don’t understand! How come Simon Baron-Cohen and the likes dare to put themselves in charge of ‘support’ for autistic people while at the same time blocking the methods that are actually working?

It really looks to me like someone has to die for that to change and, as there’s no volunteers, I may need to sacrifice myself.

Tell John that I really loved him, in case it happens.

No one else really cares.

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