What is happening around me?

Today in the morning I decided I need to finally talk seriously with Mr Henderson so I sent the following email:

I had to take two screenshots as one just wasn’t enough. I mean the email was bigger than my tablet screen.

At first I felt very pleased with myself but again, I didn’t know how this is going to evolve. In a way it looks like I put them in the situation where they have no choice but to speak up openly about what happened, but again, I know big companies don’t necessarily behave very logically, but I didn’t think too much about it and I wasn’t worried.

Around two and half an hour after I sent that email I suddenly felt very scared out of nowhere and became convinced Home Group wants to kill me (which is not impossible, is it?). It is sometimes said that some autistic people have an ability to hear other people thoughts and I wonder if I’m one of them? Not every thought of course, but those very intense ones, that are related to me.

Obviously there’s no point in asking Mr Henderson if he was furious with me at 11am today. He never replies, does he?

I forced myself to get out of my flat as I’d end up in a bad state if I stayed in when feeling like that. I went for a lunch out to a small chinese restaurant and then for a trip to Devizes. Devizes is where I spent my first night and day after being sectioned in 2019. It didn’t bring back any emotions although obviously I didn’t see the place where I was being kept.

While out I realised that Mr Scope is unlikely to publicly comment on the case due to client’s confidentiality, so it is pretty much what I say on my blog. I am however curious how he felt at the time and what he was thinking. I guess he must have been very confused about everything, I mean I take it from the fact that he contacted my boyfriend at the time.

I wonder however, if it would be possible for me to speak with Mr Scope privately at any point? I mean I understand that he has loads of commitments and lives far away but what he can’t say publicly, he could maybe say privately, and I’d get some kind of closure, I suppose. Or at least that’s how I imagine that. Possibly I am unable to predict my own reaction again and speaking to Mr Scope would only highlight the fact how nasty Home Group behaved (and still does).

Obviously, even if we were to talk, it wouldn’t be now. Things just don’t work like that in life, do they?

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