As I said yesterday my psychiatric nurse refused to confirm that I’m being monitored by my diagnostician, yet, she doesn’t seem to be too bothered by this unusual belief (as usual), even though I now believe my diagnostician took over my boyfriend and is giving him speech and language therapy. I am kind of annoyed by all that, what kind of support this is supposed to be? But then, as I’m getting discharged next week, I am not that bothered.
The nurse texted me around lunch time today to ask how I’m feeling and I just said ‘psychotic’. She didn’t reply for like two hours. I’m not sure if she realised that was an indirect way of saying ‘I don’t want to talk to you’.
When she replied she asked me if I’m taking olanzapine and if I need any more. For that I said, I don’t need olanzapine, I feel psychotic but I act normal so I consider myself fine.
By that I meant I still believe I’m being monitored and I reply this way as it’s obvious they don’t want to discuss that. It was a form of creating communication breakdown, you could say.
After a little bit she just said ‘ok’. She must be ok with this then, or possibly she was hinting that it’s ok for me to have any beliefs I want, as long as I don’t talk about them? But then, I talk about them on the blog. Every post is focused on my beliefs, that may not reflect reality at all but then, that’s the whole point! I’m autistic so I misinterpret things sometimes.
Yet… that was part of the bullying campaign I experienced in Home Group – I was being told I misinterpret a lot. And yet, the truth turned out to be even worse than I thought.
So do I misinterpret or not?