1. I was thinking to make my art available for free forever. Some of them, although they may look complicated, only took me a few minutes to do, so it feels like it’s not fair to expect people to pay for them. I also worry that if I try to sell, it will change my mindset and that will hinder my creativity.
But the most important factor is that doing this type of art is a form of stimming for me. It really helps my mental health and I believe it should be encouraged for other autistics as well. But it took me quite a few months to learn how to do something nice quickly, so if I try to use my blog and my story to sell my art it will be like if I’m blocking other autistic people from being creative, because they will think they’d never get where I am with the blog and will become discouraged. So art should be free.
I mean not that I am anywhere with the blog now, but I hope to be, so I’m planning in advance.
2. It only occured to me yesterday evening that possibly Mr Scope suggested to Home Group that documents related to my diagnosis could be fabricated but Home Group didn’t listen. They didn’t listen because it was The Lady that was manipulating everyone in the entire company and telling them that they have to listen because she worked with me and worked me out.
As I already mentioned, I believe she’s a narcissist. And, by observing her for several months during the time I was also reflecting on myself a lot, I started having the impression that she is on the opposite end of the spectrum to me. You know how some people say ‘we are all on the spectrum somewhere?’ Some autistics get annoyed by that, but I believe that is true; but it’s not an autistic spectrum, it’s a human being spectrum.
We, autistics, are good at patterns and procedures, narcissists are good at social stuff. They can’t predict the consequences of their behaviour on more concrete stuff but they can predict extremely well how situation is going to evolve on social level and they use that to manipulate people and get what they want.
It works for them for a bit but then it doesn’t. They’re winning the fight but loosing the war and they can’t even see it.
I believe it is not a personality disorder, but a neurological difference. A form of disability, you could say, but then, can we talk about disability, if one can so easily get what they want? It’s tricky, isn’t it?
Maybe they need to loose on social level once in a while too to accept responsibility?
3. Otherwise I’m not too bad. Still not psychotic.