My recent frustrations

1. Did I tell you that in May I only did two shifts? My agency doesn’t advertise for Swindon any more and if they call me to offer shifts it’s usually a night shift, which I don’t want to do as I worry it will trigger insomnia and subsequently psychotic episode. Well, if I take olanzapine the night after I’d be ok, I think, but that would mean I’d need 3 days to recover after one shift, where’s quality of life there?

Mind you, I explained that in my medical questionnaire and they booked me a phone call with a nurse (to cover themselves, I suppose) and they are giving me nights anyway. So far I was politely refusing but yesterday their creativity hit the roof – I was told they have ‘an easy shift, 10 to 7 on Saturday’ which made a perfect sense for me because the mid day shifts really seem easier as you avoid early morning or late night commute. I accepted the shift and the email confirmation stated that it’s actually 10pm on Saturday till 7am on Sunday.

Nice try, isn’t it? I still managed to politely refuse. I am not quite sure where I take the patiece from.

I’m glad that I got that other job because my savings are not going to last forever.

2. I tried drawing in Clip Studio yesterday and it was a pain, even with a tablet pen. I didn’t think about it somehow but when I draw on paper I lean my arm on it and that provides stability and improves control of my arm. I can’t do that on tablet so my lines were really wonky. Possibly a mouse would help, but I won’t be buying one just yet. From the time I spent on Clip Studio I did get the idea that doing what I’m hoping to achieve is not going to be easy. Clip Studio has better drawing features so I’d happily use it for that and then transfer the drawing to PicsArt to do my patterns but I couldn’t save a file there. Or actually, I could, because when I tried to save it again I was receiving notifications that the file already exists but I could never find it. I Googled this particular problem and found a suggestion that I need to change something in a set up, but it was very confusing.

Somehow PicsArt never gave me that particular trouble so it looks like my readers are going to be stuck with my patterns for now.

3. I saw that particular employee yesterday. I mean this one who wasn’t very nice to me during radio fundraising dinner. I only covered one issue on the blog but basically she was behaving like a princess the entire time. Oh, I forgot to tell you, I raised my particular concerns with the manager over email a few days ago – she responded with a comment about something completely unrelated and never talked to me about what happened, just casually mentioned that she sometimes gets hundreds of emails in a day so doesn’t have time to read them properly.

I am now wondering, was she hinting that’s how similar issues are being dealt with, she’s not going to get involved into how other people express themselves socially but also into what I’m posting on my blog about it?

But that now leaves me thinking that means other people have the right to behave inappropriately and I don’t. But maybe I also have this right and I should express myself more freely and if someone doesn’t like it, it’s their problem not mine?

This is getting really confusing, you know? I’m spending months trying to improve my social skills only to finally get the idea this effort is not needed. But then what if I’m not getting things correctly this time?

This is all too much.

Mind you, that lady behaves completely normal at the radio. Possibly I should also not worry too much about behaving differently in different settings?

I feel like I need another two months off to think this all through.

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