As the weather gets better, online activity of my readers decreases, and so does mine. It also seems like I need to take at least a little break from recording how I feel. Obviously I never intended to record all my thoughts.

And that’s what happened in my life recently:

1. I spent quite a few hours researching wallpapers online and I’m really disappointed that there’s so few designs I’d put on my wall. That doesn’t mean designs I found are not pretty – most of them are, but I find them too complex and I know I’d end up feeling like I need to ‘analyse’ them and would find it hard to relax. I may make a separate post about it, when I find some quality photos to illustrate my point.

2. I still can’t wear my Loop earplugs – it looks like it was £30 down the drain. Probably the most expensive earplugs out there but they’re also the worst I tried so far.

3. I got (conditional) job offer from an elderly care home not far from where I live. When I was filling in my application form I ticked the ‘guaranteed interview’ box (that’s UK scheme for disabled job applicants). The interview was barely 15 minutes, over the phone and the manager who was interviewing me was only asking me interview questions – she skipped through all the usual ‘tell me a bit about yourself’ and also wasn’t asking any clarifying questions (maybe I was detailed enough already?). That made me think that I was only offered the interview because I was disabled and they had no intention of actually considering me for the job. And the next day, surprise surprise, I got an email with conditional job offer.

Something similar happened to me ages ago, when I was still in Poland. I had a strange interview in a hallway as there was no rooms available (part of the building was going through refurbishment) and the interview was also very short. I left thinking that if they really wanted me for the job, they’d arrange for a room, wouldn’t they? I was really surprised when I got offered that job a few days later.

What is the moral of those stories? That sometimes things look like you’re not going to get what you want and then you get it.

4. My psychiatric nurse will probably be leaving and I don’t want to have a different one, which then probably means I’d have to be discharged. Which I’m fine with as long as I have access to olanzapine. Still, it is a bit of a change. I also got an email from my job coach stating that she’s leaving. That now makes me think that there will be a big change in my life. Funny, isn’t it? Neither of those two had any direct impact on my life, yet, the fact that they’re both leaving at the same time makes me feel like a massive change is going to happen. And it makes me slightly anxious.

5. It’s Saturday morning now. In the afternoon I’m going to John’s. I’m staying till Monday evening or possibly even Tuesday morning. On Monday we’re going on a trip to Thornbury. I hope it will be interesting but not too hot. John is oversensitive to heat, hot weather makes him miserable. I’m oversensitive to cold. That’s a bit of a difficult match, isn’t it? I did see an advice on Instagram for autistics to choose a partner with similar sensory needs. Do you agree with that? It makes sense on paper but I’d never replace John for anybody else so we just have to work around it.

6. I got quite adventurous with my PicsArt patterns recently, but also it takes me longer to do what I like now. Although possibly I am just more selective? I was also wondering how come I spent so many years of my life not even realising that I’m into patterns. I used to order wallpaper or fabric samples and I was convinced that I’m trying to decorate my flat but could never make any decision as I liked every single style out there – only now I know that I wasn’t after any particular style; I was after the patterns and I wanted to have as many as possible. And yes, most of them wouldn’t work for me if they were permanently on display. I’d really like if decorating industry take more care of taste like mine.