Can I get a job in Nationwide?

Image added on 23rd of April 2022

For those of you who are not in the UK a brief explanation: Nationwide is a large building society with a head office in Swindon, where I live. Building society doesn’t mean that they’re building anything, it’s very confusing indeed – building society in the UK are companies that are like a bank, but they’re not a bank. I never troubled myself with finding out what the difference is but obviously I am aware, if I want to get a job there, I’d need to find out.

I’m banking with them and I’m really glad. Before I bought my flat I was with Halifax but their mortgage offer wasn’t very good so I went to shop around and Nationwide had the best mortgage ever so I made an appointment and got the offer that was for regular customers only, even though I was being socially naive during that appointment. I believe the lovely lady named Karen was able to see right through that because I knew details of what was available on the market.

After I told her why I liked their mortgage offer for regular customers, I asked: but I can’t get it, can I? And she told me, I can!

But this is not how people normally negotiate, is it? And yet, it worked for me. It was especially positive experience after that mortgage advisor who tried to rip me off by using my contact details to apply for a mortgage that wasn’t what I wanted. He did it after I left his office but before presenting me with terms and conditions (nice try).

So yes, Karen made me believe in people again. And in myself.

So what I was thinking today was: I didn’t get approved for PIP (disability benefit). I got 0 points! It makes me feel like I’m not disabled in the slightest, which it probably quite wrong. Anyway, I’m not going to appeal. It doesn’t make sense, doesn’t it? So maybe I’d get 1 or 2 points – that still not enough to get any money. Also, I don’t feel like getting money from government is going to be a solution to my problem. And my problem is that I can’t find a workplace where I can really use my strengths and where my weaknesses wouldn’t get in the way.

My weaknesses we probably alredy know: being socially naive every now and then, although much less as I get older. Inability to play workplace politics and occasional need to wear comfortable clothing. Being oversensitive to noise.

And what about my strengths? Well, I’m very good at poking holes in the system and I am ready to use every little trick available in this world to find out where the weakest link is. I can even intentionally make myself look stupid – which is not something that a neurotypical person would be willing to do. Of course, for that ability to be useful, I need to know the system I am poking at. At least a little bit. So it’s not like I can apply for a job where this is necessary and hope to outshine all other candidates.

However, it’s not like I don’t have any achievements, do I? What about Mr Scope, partner in a law firm and Mr Henderson, CEO of Home Group? Two top executives who are likely to lose their jobs because of what I did.

And I did something, you know… I used a little, tiny trick while filling my employment tribunal claim so that they were less likely to follow all the correct procedures. I was certain that as a result they will be very likely to make a mistake. Of course I didn’t know what the mistake would be – I could not imagine at the time that there are fabricated documents in my file.

I am not quite sure if this is the right time to reveal what that trick was? Possibly I should make my readers to wonder for a bit? It was a really tiny thing though. It only took me a second or two to apply, really.

Although I had to withdraw my claim to focus on my mental health, it’s like I won, isn’t it? I dragged the most important evidence out of them and if the case ended up in tribunal, the judge would have a really good laugh.

So I won against two top executives. I don’t have their experience and my knowledge of law is extremely limited. And yet, I won. So I must be much better than two of them together.

Can someone give me a chance then to try and learn to poke holes in their system? Is that not what auditors do? I did read once that external auditors have to be very careful about how they talk to people so that wouldn’t be good, but internal auditors can talk however they want and people need to put up with them (ok, ok, let’s not raise my hopes up – within reason of course). So I could possibly train to be an internal auditor, couldn’t I?

In Nationwide. Can someone ask them if they want me? I am obviously prepared to reveal what trick I used on Home Group (tip: it had nothing to do with law).

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