Those of you who read my blog regularly may be aware I at times believe I’m being monitored. I discussed that in more details around 21st of January, after my mum passed away. I can’t quite work that out 100% but then, I guess, if my psychiatric nurse is not concerned about me having this symptom, that can only mean she’s involved in it.
The first time when I had this feeling was beginning of September 2017, when, at the start of my first psychotic episode, I was attempting to book flight ticket to get out of the UK and three websites I tried displayed strange errors, so as a result the only ticket I could book was return to Warsaw in premium economy with Polish Airlines LOT.
Obviously that would mean that I had to be monitored for quite a while before that, so that someone had a chance to first decide I need this assistance and then to organise it (I was initially trying to go to Prague, and it’s not good going to a foreign country when you’re just on the edge of psychosis!). I am a bit concerned here about privacy issues, but then I guess that has been deemed unimportant by some people who never even spoke with me.
Obviously, you can say that if you have to choose between me loosing some privacy and me ruining my life due to what happened in Home Group, loosing privacy is less of an issue.
If I was sectioned at the time and taken to psychiatric hospital in Swindon, I really do not know how that would end – I was convinced that every nurse and doctor are in touch with my ex employer (Home Group provides housing for people with mental health problems so we sometimes saw staff in hospital) and they believe I’m total bonkers even when I’m not unwell. Even during the second episode, after I managed to rebuild my life, I was convinced I’d be placed in Home Group home on discharge so that The Lady could continue to ruin my life.
You can read more about Home Group under workplace bullying tag.
I sometimes think that, who knows, possibly I need to be monitored because The Lady would be really glad to inform everyone she can that I’m crazy and need to be ignored. Especially now, when I’m blogging (I wonder whether she knows? Did Mark Henderson, CEO of Home Group informed her about that?)
So, anyway, my latest proofs that I’m being monitored are as follows: Ryanair never sent me ‘time to check in’ email after I booked my flight to Poland. And normally I get quite a few of them. If I kept receiving those prompts, I’d treat them as notifications to go, no matter what the situation would be like.
After my flight was due and I didn’t turn up I was still receiving reminders to choose my meals before flying. Those reminders contained my booking reference and I’d get at least three of them, on various days. It seemed to me like Ryanair wanted to tell me not to worry, that I couldn’t go at the time. I’ll go some other time.
Does that make sense to you? It does to me: Ryanair is hinting me that my life hasn’t ended only because I couldn’t go to Poland as planned. That’s nice of them, wouldn’t you agree?