Does ‘perfect refugee’ actually exist? There’s so many people who are offering help to Ukrainians it’s overwhelming. Still, I am having the impression that they do that to feel better about themselves and forget to see the situation from the refugee’s perspective. There was this young Ukrainian mum on one of the Facebook group, she had 2 year old daughter. She stated she’d like to go to a family with children of similar age and I could see straight away that would help not only her daughter but also the host’s kids. And, possibly she was thinking that in a situation where she cannot give anything in exchange for help, she will feel less of a burden if the host see that their children benefit from the situation.

And this is interesting phenomenon: remember, I am autistic here, and most of the people (if not all) who volunteered to host are neurotypical. So they should be able to see the above even quicker. But guess what? The Lady received over 50 responses and only 2 or 3 were from families with children of similar age.

Perhaps it is because people who always had everything are unable to put themselves in shoes of someone who just lost everything they had? Yes, it is very easy to say: but we don’t mind, we want to help! But that was important for the Ukrainian lady. Why post irrelevant answers, when we know that she’s under stress, possibly confused, trying to make a difficult decision and we are expecting her to read what we have to say, even if it’s not what she asked for. Seriously people, get over yourself.

I was myself like that, I guess, trying to ‘grab’ an Ukrainian to help them, but I moved on. And seeing how much help is available out there really helped. It will be very selfish of me trying to expect somebody to come and stay with me if they can get better living conditions or companionship somewhere else. I mean, I moved on, even though I’m autistic. British public didn’t. They’re still in the grabbing mode apparently.

I still want to help and possibly, as the time progress, I’ll find somebody who would accept me as a host but for now it looks like this is not going to happen. Most of the hosts’ ads don’t get any responses at all. But at least I don’t need to feel bad about the fact that I’m getting rejected because I’m autistic. We will see.