So yesterday I did a meditation from School Sleep app around lunch time and didn’t do any standard meditation (by standard meditation I mean this one where we’re supposed to force ourselves to relax).

Later on I still found it difficult to drift off to sleep peacefully, even though I was tired, but I didn’t feel scared any more. Possibly just a little bit triggered. I think it took me around 30 minutes to fall asleep but I didn’t wake up during the night and I slept around 7.5h. So not too bad at the end, although I remember it used to be better.

I’ll continue with Sleep School today and fingers crossed my ability to fall asleep within 3 minutes comes back. Dr Meadows says that falling asleep that quickly is a sign that we’re overtired but I don’t experience it like that at all and I must say I really liked it. It was such a relief after years of struggling, also it gave me the feeling that I’m ‘the lucky one’ – I think people are a little bit envious of those who sleep well, aren’t they? So it was nice to find myself in that category.

Otherwise I don’t feel very well. Not too much of a headache but I feel really bleh and tired. I still don’t know if it’s a bereavement reaction? I very rarely think about my mum or my family, in general.