I feel discouraged

I didn’t do any visualisation for almost two days. I feel really silly that I can only visualise being successful, while I can’t visualise myself being understood and accepted at work for example.

I have very little experience of ‘being myself’ with people and even the attempts of ‘unmasking’ didn’t really give me satisfaction. It was like playing the life game without making any effort.

I think I subconsciously believe that being successful will be an answer to my problems, while in fact the opposite may as well happen and becoming recognised blogger may bring me even more troubles. The worst, I think, would be, if people lead conversation with me in a way that they would get me to agree with statements that I don’t agree with. I guess it will be very easy to achieve that with me in face to face conversation. I think this is just what happens when I make effort to be nice to people, I stop seeing where the conversation is going and only notice afterwards what I agreed with.

I think what I really want is that people see the true me for who I am and stop insisting on labeling me. The success is not going to bring this to me. But then, what is?

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