I can’t sleep!

I’m wondering if this is also a side effect of my visualisations? I was visualising that I’m rich and famous and now my brain is trying to work out how to get me there. So possibly visualisations are actually working? But then, how is my brain going to work that out if it’s autistic and it doesn’t have much of a social imagination? Will I not be much more likely to end up on the street instead? Even though I own my flat?

It is really confusing how our autistic brains work. I sometimes have the idea that, although I can’t navigate social world very well, I can somehow get what I want from people if I have a powerful intention. I can’t really explain that but it happened to me a few times that if I really wanted something I got it, even though I had no idea what I was doing on the way. I wonder if this has something to do with me working out patterns subconsciously?

So possibly visualisations would work for me? Or at least they will give me something else to focus on instead of my previous ‘programme’ that was: I’m going to have mental health breakdown within a few years time because this is what happened to my dad and I’m very much like him.

Obviously, I still need to sleep! It’s 23.08 and I’m going to work for 12h shift tomorrow! Can somebody tell me how to teach my brain to think when I’m asleep instead?

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