It’s an evening aready and the appointment was in the morning. I didn’t post about it straight away as I felt depressed due to grief so I wanted to record my real feelings.

So basically I have this work coach, from November if I remember correctly, who is provided by IPS, which is NHS service. It is too early to say if this type of support works for me as most of that time I was unemployed and the jobs that I had, I found myself. But I like her for speaking to me in a confident manner. It is said that we, autistics, repeat other people mannerisms so I hope, when I go for an interview I’ll be repeating my work coach mannerisms as it will just make sense to me.

She offered that she can call the company where I was going to appy for a job and I said yes. In the past I would feel uncomfortable about that and would prefer to contact people myself, but then I thought, the fact that someone is supporting me doesn’t mean I’m incapable, does it? And she can explain why I’m using her as a support instead of me worrying when should I discuss my autism, what to say about it and whether they will think that means I’m nonverbal.

I remember, when I left Home Group in 2017, I applied for a job in a learning disability care home and had the first stage of an interview over the phone. I was fairly confident and believed I answered the questions well. At the end of the interview I was asked if I have any disability and I said yes. At the time I preferred the term Asperger’s syndrome. I had around 8 years of experience of working in care at the time and yet, I’ve never heard from them again. That wasn’t very confidence building.

Some people advise not to disclose autism till after the written job offer but I think now, if you are so prejudice I don’t want to work for you. Of course, I may end up in difficult situation if no one wants me, but then, you know, if I am in a job where I’m constantly faced with microagression (well, I guess that will become my favourite word now) it will also be difficult for me and will make burnout much more likely to happen.