I only started reading about Asperger’s syndrome because John told me he’s awaiting diagnosis, that was in 2015, before we even met. If not that, I’d most likely wouldn’t know. No one would probably suggested it either because I didn’t look autistic. I looked like emotional vampire and a drama queen, I guess. Maybe not all the time but quite possibly a lot.

Even my counsellor wasn’t able to pick up on it. She didn’t specialise in autism. But if I didn’t know I’m autistic, I wouldn’t be looking for counsellor who did. I find it deeply disturbing that people who work in caring professions think this is enough of an excuse.

Yesterday I emailed dr Orloff, this one who wrote about emotional vampires that I can recognise some of my behaviours from before diagnosis in the article and I explained that I wouldn’t be able to pick up from subtle clues that people had enough of me, so possibly her advice should change? And guess what? She’s not bothered as she doesn’t have experience with autism. She only has experience with emotional vampires.