I want to go home

I so much feel like I want to go to my family home now. It’s so strange that, even though my family was definitely troubled, I still found visits there relaxing. Obviously, except the last one, where I had to go to a hostel after a few days because I couldn’t look at my brother being constantly drunk.

Or I would at least want to call my mum and tell her I’m sad. Even if I know that her solution for that would be to suggest I need to move to a smaller flat.

I don’t know how I’m going to continue and whether I’ll be able to work. I don’t want people to treat me the way they do. What is the solution for that?

I only saw my psychiatric nurse a few days ago and told her I was fine. But I’m not fine now. Tomorrow I have a meeting with my work coach and I’ll probably tell her I’m coping. It’s easier this way. What can she do about me feeling sad and desperate?

I don’t have good experience with telling people I need help. As I probably explained here I’m rarely being taken seriously. I remember mum took me to a psychologist when I was 17 and was depresed as I worried about ending up like my dad. The visit ended in psychologist angrily telling me that she has other people on her books who have much more serious problems than me.

What’s the solution for that?

My mum died and I have nobody. What’s the solution for that?

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