I think I’m an emotional vampire


Or at least I was, before diagnosis. The article is from 2011, so when understanding of female presentation of autism was not there at all.

I can see some of my behaviours described in the article. But I’m wondering how a fairly famous psychiatrist couldn’t see that the people who create problems actually need help? She’s into empaths now so, I presume she sees herself as one? And yet, she can’t see that.

The thing is that I felt so shattered by life and constant pretending but getting it wrong anyway and general lack of understanding of what was happening around me that, when I’ve found someone who seemed understanding, I was hoping to finally get listened. I didn’t get that it was too much for that person and I didn’t get their body language that they tried to use to let me know to move on.

It was as simple as that. I didn’t want to hurt anybody, suck their energy, solve my problems and I’m certainly not a narcissist. I just wanted to be listened and didn’t know how and when to move on.

Is that enough of an explanation?

Why social skills have to be as complicated as that?

I really can’t imagine going like that for any longer.

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