I wanted to say thank you to John from here for the fact that he doesn’t mind being on my blog. I think it’s very important that I include description of our real interactions here and my interpretation of what he is thinking, the same like what I am thinking. And yes, what I am thinking is often an interpretation as well as to be quite honest, I’m not always sure about it myself. I guess this may be caused by the fact that I’m so different from most people I know so I can’t use my every day interactions as a mirror for me to find out who I am. I only end up getting more confused and sometimes rejected. Even if I get accepted by people, I never have the feeling that it’s because who I really am.

That’s why posting about what I really think about situations I’m in is so important, so that other people could really understand. If I couldn’t do that, I’d be left with blogging about my sensory issues, which is just not enough. So I really appreciate John doesn’t mind being on my blog. I do hope at the same time that reading my blog will help him understand his own way of thinking better. I do appreciate him a lot and oftentimes think that it’s a real miracle that we met and I’d like him to focus on that in case, at any point, he reads something he may not be happy with.

I’d also like him to remember that by blogging I’m hoping to help other autistic people. Let’s take infinite games for example. I’ve never heard anyone discussing this concept in relation to autism, but it is a very important one. I believe, we, autistics, see life as a sequence of finite games, but it’s not really like that. I’m not sure how neurotypical people see life, possibly they don’t see it as a game at all?

A few months ago I realised that if I think of life as one infinite game instead some problems are easier to avoid (like infodumping for example). I may not understand situations on social level very well but I understand it as a game. And now tell me where else this has been discussed? Certainly not in any of Professor Simon Baron-Cohen work. Possibly because, being narcissist, he is unable to work out how we are really thinking as he’s only focused on social side of things?

So I really need to write the truth about what I am thinking in important situations in my life and to discuss it I need to describe what happened. If John wouldn’t want to be on my blog, it would be so much more difficult.

So I wanted to say thank you to him for being who he is and doing what he’s doing. Even when we don’t agree.