I forgot to write about this little but pleasant experience. Two days ago when I felt really bad, one of the interia designers I follow on Instagram published a photo from what looked like a small garden party. There were quite a few people on it, all facing the camera and smiling. It was so strange as, while seeing it I felt that there are people out there who care about me.
I knew that I wasn’t capable of coping with real people at the time, but symbols of people (photograph) was just fine.
It reminded me of the situation from one of my interviews in October where the care home manager mentioned a scenario about a resident who’s scared of ‘unfamiliar faces’ and it literally made me picture people as ‘objects called human beings’ with faces attached to them like stickers. I guess that is consistent with my instictive understanding of people. It seems like I believe, deep in my heart that they are all totally the same. I find it an interesting observation but I also wonder what is neurotypical’s instinctive understanding of people.