What will you say for another piece of a dating advice from an autistic female? I wonder how well I managed to work how guys really think. Is it possible that I’m better at it than neurotypical women are? What I think sometimes happens with neurotypical people is that they assume that others think the same way they do, while I had to get rid of that illusion when I was five and that’s why I’m much better at assessing what is really happening in situations where no one speaks openly about their intentions. And remember, I was at the university where I was the only female. It really was an eye opener for me.
So I found that blog post by Lauren Gray, the daughter of John Gray, this one who wrote Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. Btw I am patriefied that this book is often being suggested for autistic females as a source of relationship advice.
The link is here:
So basically, a woman went for a coffee date with a man, he told her that he really likes her and they should meet again. They were texting later and he said she has lovely eyes and a lovely personality. And then, shortly after he stopped texting her. She tried to reach out a few times but he never replied and Lauren is now saying it is because the texts she sent were confrontational for him. They didn’t sound confrontational to me in the slightest! And we need to remember that men are more direct than women so I assume, they didn’t sound confrontational to him either.
I am petrified to see that a popular relationship coach dishes out such an advice without considering how men conmunicate. Men don’t say ‘I really like you’ on a first date. If they really like you, they ask you out again. If they say that it may be a sign that they’re testing if you’re easily impressed. And then, if you are, they will think that you’re low quality woman and it’s ok to have sex with you and dump you afterwards. I’m sorry but that’s how they often are. Maybe not all the time, but if they were simgle for a bit and know no better way of seducing a woman, that’s what they will do.
And if you’re not easily impressed while at the same time he’s not that much into you, he will move on and look for somebody else. And that’s what happened here, I bet, and the words ‘you have lovely eyes and lovely personality’ really meant: ‘I’m moving on. It’s not you, it’s me’. He was trying to be polite before he becomes unavailable.
I really do not understand how dating coach can’t see that ‘you have lovely eyes and lovely personality’ it’s just not how guys talk, seriously! My advice is that: if you hear that from a guy, be alert, something is going on there and quite possibly something that you will not like.
But then, don’t dwell on it. There’s plenty fish in the sea. At least he didn’t think you are low quality woman, if he did that would mean you have much more to work on.