Should I add images to my older posts? (I feel alienated)

You could possibly noticed, if you read my blog for long enough, that I used to add my Redecor designs as illustrations to my posts. I had the idea that it may make it difficult for people to quickly judge what my blog is about, but then Redecor feels like part of me (ok, ok, most people don’t even know what Redecor is) and also, I wanted to have some illustrations and had no other way of obtaining them. However, when I started playing with patterns in PicsArt, I removed most Redecor images, only leaving those where I actually discuss Redecor in the post, and I started replacing them with patterns. But then I decided that wasn’t good enough so I deleted most of them… oh well.

The idea of the second deleting was to replace patterns with my digital art, which is pretty much more sophisticated use of patterns, but now I think, would that not be confusing as well?

I only started using PicsArt in the second week of December, so would it make sense to add any of the images done in PicsArt to posts that were written before that date? But if I don’t, then most posts will have no illustrations. Oh well… but the blog is supposed to represent me, an autistic person with executive functioning issues, so it shouldn’t be too well organised, wouldn’t you agree? I didn’t even update listings in my etsy shop, even though I already paid for them. I mean, it was only £1.20 in total, but the thing is, people are looking at what I created, and it’s not perfect. I am a perfectionist with executive functioning issues, it’s a very dangerous mixture.

Tough then, older posts will have no images, unless those were added already. Unless obviously I’ll change my mind again.

I don’t feel like this is finished, but it’s not bad. We’ll see where my creativity will take me.

Also, I wanted to say I feel very alienated in my attempts to create digital art out of patterns and shapes. I did try to look for people who do something similar and can’t seem to find anybody. Also, when I try to find out if there is another app I could use, no articles or tutorials even discuss the functionality that I need, so I don’t know if it’s not available or whether no one needs it so it just doesn’tget discussed. It now makes me think that if I ask a couple of digital artists about it, they may not even know.

It reminds me that sad moment from zero year (that’s how they are numbered in Poland) of primary school when I draw an egg shape, covered it in different colours squares and was laughed at as a result. If no one does what I do, that can only mean I’m strange.

Omg, I knew that all along, I suspected it, and now it only become more obvious! Ok, ok, being dramatic is not going to help. I have no choice but to get on with this.

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