One of the thing that I forgot to mention so far was a little situation form the job interview I had two days ago. This one, where I was offered a job informally and later decided, after making sophisticated mental effort, that it would be better for everyone involved if I just never contact them again instead of explaining to the manager why I don’t want this job.
You see, being autistic, I prefer, or even believe that everything needs to be always explicitly explained to avoid misunderstandings or any hurt feelings (you see, thinking about other people again!), however, the situation was such that I quickly understood that rejecting the offer explicitly can do more bad than good, which is probably the first time when I came up with similar conclusion in my entire life!
You can read about it here – and please see my comment under the post as the most important factor is only included there:
Ok, moving on as this post was meant to be about my understanding of ‘unfamiliar faces’. So, the manager who carried out the interview asked me how I would support into the community a service user who’s scared of animals, sudden noises and unfamiliar faces.
I quickly came up with some solutions for avoiding animals and sudden noises and then said: But how to avoid faces? Faces are everywhere!
What I saw in my mind at the time was an object called a ‘human being’ with a face attached to it like if it was a sticker!
I’m still absolutely shocked with it but it seems like this is consistent with my previous understanding of people as a whole: before I get to know someone it seems very difficult for me, if not impossible, to imagine at all that they have any personality at all. It seems to me like everyone who’s treated politely will always be polite and respectful to me. No-one ever have any hidden agendas or even, I’m sorry to admit this here, any problems or personal history.
It did happen to me in the past that when someone who I only just met started telling me about their family problems I could not believe them. Not only I couldn’t believe that their sister is going through a nasty divorce, but I couldn’t even believe that they had a sister at all!
I can’t help but it seems like this is my instinctive understanding of people: they’re objects called human beings with a face made of a sticker, and only when I get to know them a bit better I can see they’re more than that.
Can’t help it, I’m an autistic, this is how I think.