Feeling joy again

I suppose there are some advantages to being unemployed, like for example I can post several times a day, including about things from the past. I do wonder sometimes if I possibly post ‘too much’ but I guess no one can decide about that, but me. Also, as much as it would be cool to be able to influence the world with my blog, I pretty much assume this is not going to happen and I just blog for my own entertainment and to continue to have the feeling that the glass jar that I was covered with has been finally lifted. Therefore if I need to post 10 times a day to keep this feeling, that’s what I will do.

If this is your first time reading my blog, please be advised that I often blog about being autistic (everything goes in here really, even what I have for breakfast), my two psychotic episodes, my family and my emotions. I often add images from Redecor to my posts, Redecor is an online interia design game that I especially appreciate for the fact that it allows me mixing various patterns.

Would you like this kitchen? Me neither! But I think it’s cool to look at it for a little while. I created it on Redecor just a few days ago. I haven’t been playing recently as much as I used to, especially when I just came to Poland and stayed with my brother initially. Seeing him drunk and neglecting the house had a massive negative impact on me. I didn’t feel like I was deserving of playing. Silly thought really, why would I not be deserving of anything because of his problems, but that was exactly how I felt.

I am in a much better place today. Mum likes her care home, I sleep well, my anxiety is greatly reduced and I believe that when I’m back in the UK I’ll find a job and all will be well. I mean my nose will still be too big but that’s not a horrible problem, is it?

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