I went to sleep around 9.30pm yesterday, so that still gives me sensible amount of sleep. I woke up without feeling anxious but then started planning in my head what to write to mum’s bank and that set off anxiety.

For those of you who only started reading now let me give you quick update: my mum was rather poor her entire life but she inherited attractive land that was just part of her farm at first but then, when people in Poland started having more money, years after communism ended, and wanted to build houses in villages, she sold it for a good price. Unfortunately a year ago I noticed that her bank balance was not what I expected and a bit after that I realised it was mum’s favourite bank employee, Mrs J, who was responsible.

Bank didn’t take much notice of that at all, once they even changed the subject of our complaint from money missing from the account into poor customer service. I suppose Mrs J convinced everybody to ignore us but they didn’t even pay any attention to the fact that a while ago my mum received a transfer for large sum of money from a lady who had an account in the same branch but we didn’t know her, and that money were withdrawn on the same day. So my mum’s account was used to steal from somebody else.

Now, a year later and around 9 months after I got police involved, Mrs J is in prison and it turned out there are several more victims but the bank still doesn’t want to return most of the money.

So I need to write yet another letter that may still be ignored, even though the case is being investigated by the police. It doesn’t feel nice at all and certainly not something that I deserve on top of all the other problems that I’m having.

Sometimes I wonder what details I need to include and what to leave out. For me everything is important, every little detail gives us an information so nothing should be ignored. I find it difficult to imagine how other people process the information I give. And I’m not sure realising that I’m autistic is actually helping here.

It’s 5.10am. I hope it’s not going to rain today.