3.06am feeling vulnerable again

5h of sleep. Not quite enough but no risk of psychosis. Mind you, I’d have to have my sleep severely restricted for more than one night to develop an episode. The last time it was like 1-2h of sleep for around a week before it happened.

I’m worried about mum’s money again. How come bank employee can steal it and bank doesn’t take responsibility? I take back the words that I used yesterday, that it’s more posh to be victim of fraud than having it spent on alcohol by my brother. It’s mum’s money after all, she should have a choice about what happens to it.

Plus now she has to worry about my brother and about the bank. If there was no fraud she’d only worry about my brother.

I’m thirsty but it’s too early for coffee plus my milk is in the kitchen, in another building, I don’t want to go there in the dark. I could have some water I suppose but I don’t want to get up. I guess I’ll just wait till I hopefully fall asleep again.


I mentioned yesterday that I feel like there is a glass jar around me that I cannot break. Blogging really helps me feel better about it, even though nobody seems to read my posts for now.

I’m going to mum’s bank today, to Piotrków Trybunalski and hoping to get at least few things sorted. I wonder whether I’ll get taken seriously this time. Bank didn’t inform us that the situation changed, which is not nice.

Seriously, why me? Worrying again. Feeling guilty. Possibly slighty angry for not being listened to. I don’t care now that Mrs J. stole such a high amout of money from all the victims. So what that I was first to report it? I only care about what happened to us.

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